The Impotence of Rage

And the guy who worked so hard to get her there, in the moment.  There she was, although she wasn't afraid of being raped.  She had been through worse.  And she wasn't tied up here, although he thought she was.  She was ready to attack him, ready to grab whatever she could, with her free hand when he was in the midst of distraction.

But he was always limp, and she didn't want to make it worse for him that way.  She looked away, played the terrified girl when she realized he was powerless.

He left the room and she shrugged.  Now, how to get out of the house. He's not a danger naymore, just an annoyance. (She hoped)

Her Brother in The Garden

I still think of Her Brother in the Garden.

He knows her, but is behind the glass.

Did he get her pregnant?  Did he think he did?

Is that why he can't talk anymore?? (That and all the violence he did to himself)

Vanderbilt YMCA Pool

I love it!! 

Actually, there are 2.  I got a tour, but was utterly lost my first time. The tour was Tuesday, 5:45. The big pool had at least 3 people per lane, which I thought was crowded and the tour guide said it was "busy".

The next night, I went and shared a lane, circle swimming, with 3 other people. It felt giant compared to Greenpoint.

And not crowded at all!! 

Gyms without Pools

Swimming would be the best exercise, if the gyms had them.

Manhattan is notorious for expensive gyms. And also for a lack of real estate. I'm in a position to get access to a very expensive gym, but one which does not have a pool.

So I'm probably going back to the YMCA in Brooklyn. 

74 Degrees in February

So a week ago Thursday, we had the 3rd storm in a week.

And then last Thursday, it was hot enough to sweat. To walk around and want to take off all your clothes and jump in a lake.  Even better, the scent of spring was in the air.  Defrosted dirt, balmy breezes, no smell of snow.  It's not moisture, or an incoming rain, its better.

I had no idea the temperature could smell so sweet.

There was ice on Walden.  And still snowbanks everywhere you looked.  But you had to remember that it was still February.

But it was nice to forget.

YMCA Swimming

Every escape under the water is good.

No matter how much money you've paid or the clarity of the water, it is always good and beautiful.

I don't understand why people wear goggles underwater in a pool. There's nothing to see of value. Except odd views of other people's bodies at angles you'd never want to understand unless you were sexually intimate. Even then.

She kept her eyes closed and kept swimming.

Touching the Water

Lately I've been overstressed at work, but I took off early the other day. I was just going to have lunch somewhere, but I turned left instead of right and I found myself heading to Walden.

It had been more than a month since I touched the water.  And even thought I had been driving by on a regular basis, I felt like it wasn't enough.  And I felt it in my body.

But just being able to go down, and to see Mike R there, in his wetsuit, in the 34 degree water, and the water looking friendly with sunlight, I felt calmed and taken to a familiar place which in my business mind, i had forgotten.  It is too easy to get distracted by this world, with all the details and anxieties calling out to you.

But go and touch the water. And SWIM if you dare!!!