White Pond

There is a pond, as clear as Walden, with fish which may or may not nibble at your toes.

Built around it are a series of houses, with their backs to the water.

We swam across to another beach.  Not bigger than Walden, deep but with no enchantment.

A rainy day visit.

Nothing I can imagine anyone writing a book about.

The Pond Takes Away All Anger

Even when I don't imagine I have the strength, I find that I can swim.

The water may seem to be cold, but often it is warmer than the air. 

I had one of those heart stopping moments as I checked my phone before I left it in the car.  Richard was leaving me.

We aren't together. It was that I suddenly had a greater responsibility for something. It could turn great and eventually I was glad it happened. 

But that moment, the bottom had dropped out.

Dive in and be like Greta Garbo at the end of Anna Christie. Look out over the water and think of nothing. 

Absolutely nothing. 

It took me some effort to get out into the middle of the Pond. But it was nothing to get back.

And I came back stronger.

Fairyland Pond

Maybe there are some Ponds that are not meant to be disturbed.

Not quite big enough, or deep enough to swim across.

Unless you are not human.

Leave it for the geese and ghosts.

NEW VERSION: SCAB!

Another variation on the Tech Workplace Experience of a woman.

Dreaming of Swimming

I had a dream the other night that I was swimming in the ocean. In the ocean just off the Azores, Praia.

I wrote a poem about it, because it was such a strong feeling.  Also like getting lost in the sheets, your whole body floating, but this dream was about the waves, how they make you fly.  How Sergio's first memories of the water was making you feel like you were a superhero.

I still swim in Brooklyn, almost every other day, at least 3 days a week.  In a life that I love.

Looking at the water, it doesn't seem especially clear, I know that I pee in it and I swim around my period, I can just imagine all the other things that other people bring into the pool water.  But there is a certain amount of bacteria that I imagine helps me to ward off illnesses by exposing me to dangers.

Lynne Cox, Swimmer

Have I mentioned that I am in contact with Lynne Cox??

At least on FB, we've been messaging.

She's swum to Antarctica.  And it's the name of her book.

I miss swimming in Brooklyn. Regularly.

There are other pools, but I miss nature.....

Her Being Alone in the House

She was left alone.  Which was fine with her.

The swimsuit was pretty much in shreds, and all she had was the old jacket of his.  At least he was kind enough to keep her from being cold.

Other than the collar around her neck, she was able to examine her bruises in complete isolation.

She was able to walk around the house, after the shower, and investigate.  She even attempted leaving.  The alarms were on, no matter what she opened.  And she was certain there were cameras as well.

But she got a tremendous shock everytime she tried to pass any threshold.  The basement windows, the front door.  And it was a constant shock, not merely a fleeting boundary.

She was also able to see the fences which bordered the yard.  Which was large, and surrounded by hedges and trees. The steel and barbed wire formed a circle around the entire yard.  The fence only opened from the control in his car (SHE ASSUMED)

She was trapped.
She knew it, and she knew that he would know her state of mind.  That's why he was being so gentle, he knew he had time.
And that she would panic eventually.

Or, based on his hesitation last night, he might be a human, after all.

He had her in a submissive position, literally.  She was practically naked, and if he had wanted to assault her then, it was a perfect opportunity.

In fact, in her mind, she had already accepted that fact.  She had been preparing her mind, digging up past unsuccessful boyfriends and dental visits.  Keep a smile and bear through it.
Say whatever he wanted, even if it meant being quiet and sensitive.
He had done all this to get her, after all.
What did he think, that this would endear him to her??

He obviously did.

The night before, he hesitated, awkwardly. WHY??
He couldn't maintain an erection.
They both laughed.
They were both tired.
He was NICE to her.
He was terrified himself.
They ALMOST acted like a couple
(Was this the syndrome where she identified with her captor?)

She looked around for weapons, anyway.

She found rope and a few knives.  She cut the rope so that it was weakened at every 5 feet.
==

That left her with 4 approaches/conclusions, and they all overlapped.

1. She should be terrified
2. She should play romantic to get out alive
3. She should feel him out because he plans to keep her trapped for a while
4. He is going to kill her as soon as he gets back